Right to R.E.A.L. Love: How to Make a Relationship Last, Episode 2

I’m excited to share part 2 of my 3 part podcast series with the Right to REAL love radio show.

In this episode, the host Jay and I continue our discussion to address the question: How can couples survive the tough times they experience in their relationship?

Press play below to listen:

http://righttoreallove.com/make-a-relationship-last-part2/

The main lessons and takeaways, we wanted to share with our listening audience were all things so incredibly important in relationships.

We discussed how to manage conflict in a relationship and why one person alone is not enough to fight for a relationship.

We also talked about the benefits of having open lines of communication in a relationship and the importance of the foundation a relationship is built upon.

For a couple to be on the same page during easy times and challenging times, it takes work. You want to show solidarity through it all. If you both decide to put in the work together the relationship can be so fulfilling, even if you have tough times.

Don’t forget to listen and share. I want to hear your thoughts!

Episode 2:
http://righttoreallove.com/make-a-relationship-last-part2/

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Right to R.E.A.L. Love: How to Make a Relationship Last, Episode 1

A few weeks ago I shared that I did my first radio podcast on the Right to R.E.A.L Love show, one of the #1 Christian radio podcasts. My topic was to help singles on a big topic in navigating relationships.

My episodes were released this week and now are available online. I will be sharing an episode a week. I will include the links below for you to take a listen and share.

In the first episode, host Jay Mayo and I address the question: What things are required to make a relationship last?

We discussed:

1. Why most people lack what it takes to make a relationship last.

2. The importance of having examples of lasting relationships in our lives.

3. Three things we require in order to make our relationships last.

I explained how important having fun  with my boyfriend has been to making our relationship last. I also shared the lessons I have learned from past relationships that did not last.

When asked about relationships lasting a lifetime or a season, I talked about how to focus on making relationships last in their current season, rather than trying to make every relationship last for a lifetime.

That statement stuck with several people I talked with and at first I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone walking away with the wrong impression of what I was trying to say. Then I started to just own I said it and hopefully it strikes up more conversation so we can unpack it and dive in a little more. That part I love.

I absolutely believe in marriage and relationships lasting long periods of time but when speaking to an audience of unmarried singles, I felt it important to discuss what it takes to make a relationship last but be aware that not every one will end in marriage then last a lifetime. 

I believe when two people choose to enter into a marriage, that is a forever commitment that should not be taken lightly or shift and sway like the wind.

Timing in relationships is everything. In my own relationship, I am confident in our communication and love for each other that we continue to build up. But it takes work, commitment, effort, thoughtfulness, love. We look forward to long-lasting joy and happiness with each other because we are putting in that work and living that love out. I wish the same for you and your relationships.

Relationships don’t just happen because you want them to. They require an intentional decision to choose to share with each other and love each other over and over.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak” – Ecclesiastes 3:1,3,5-7

Next week I’ll tell you more about episode 2. For now a great action step is to make sure that you’re bringing your best to every relationship…especially if you are in a relationship right now.

What things are required to make a relationship last? Episode 1:

Listen Here! http://righttoreallove.com/make-a-relationship-last-part1/

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Five-K Me: 2016 Summer of Wicked Workouts

In 3 weeks I will be doing my first 5K. It may not seem like much but I’m actually pretty excited about it. Much more than expected.

I don’t think I have done a bib race since running the Indy 500 half-marathon in Indianapolis many moons ago. We’re talking at least 10-11 years ago.

I have never been much of a runner. I can walk for miles but I do not enjoy running. It just doesn’t jazz me up but back in the day I was briefly into running.

Earlier this year one of my coworkers said she wanted to do a 5K walk. I did that thing where I was like, “Great idea. Yeah that sounds fun. We should look into it.” Meanwhile I had no real intention of doing it. Then it turned into a group wanting to do it and get our lives and bodies together. I was placed in charge of planning.

We all need friends who nudge us and pull us along on good ideas like this. I researched races all over the city and ultimately we whittled down to this fun one where gospel music will be played throughout.  It is family-friendly and will be held along the lakefront path of Chicago. Another major plus is all the money from the race will go to support a cause all of us are passionate about — poverty alleviation. It will be an uplifting, energizing and encouraging day for us all.

Other than hoping for good weather, we have also been making our own personal adjustments to get prepared. Taking walks and eating better are a few of the intentional changes. Talking about it at work keeps us motivated and we may even do more races in the future.

I’m not looking to become an ultra-marathoner or anything. I just want to kick off another wicked workout summer right.

Pretty soon I’ll  also be back to my regular weekly shenanigans with 3 hour sessions of yoga, pilates and zumba. Sweating hard, not looking pretty, constantly ready to quit but with a milestone birthday waiting for me at the end of this year, now is a better time than any to keep climbing uphill on this quest to get my heart healthy and my body right.

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Summer 2015 Workout. That's me front left

We all got to start somewhere. What people sometimes forget is baby steps forward is still progress. Remember it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.

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Summer 2015 workout with Zumba instructor Iris

This One’s For You

Mother’s Day is a beautiful celebration of our existence in this world. We would not and could not be were it not for our mothers.

For all the restaurant rsvps, home-cooked meals, cards and social media shout-outs that occur on this day, there is also a lot of people who don’t celebrate or may be filled with more sorrow than joy.

This post is to recognize more sides of the spectrum. This day is not to make you feel isolated or uncomfortable. We all can share in this day. It’s your day too.

If your loved ones are not able to be here, I break for you and your hurting. I too, share in the sadness and reflection on those who are gone.

There are way too many mothers and grandmothers and babies who seem to have left too soon even if they lived long lives. This day includes them too. Today is also for all the cousins and sisters and aunts who impacted us and cared for us with their motherly instincts. 

To the women of our lives here and gone, we celebrate and thank you. These women of our lives who love us and that we love are special heroes.

Some children hurt as they long for a better relationship with mothers who are both here and gone. I do not doubt that the distance can be lonely and the longing can be great. Know you are a child worth celebrating. We are glad to know you. We recognize such relationships can be so damn challenging. Stay encouraged.

Women are so incredible and multi-faceted. Many stay home working full-time caring for kids and households Many others take up part-time and full-time jobs outside of the home yet always wear the second hat of full-time mother.

Consider mother’s day to be an extension of international women’s day. All women in our lives are teachers and learners regardless of the children born of their bodies, adopted into their families and those who choose not to have children.

You women set powerful examples. You are our businesswomen, politicians, lawyers, executives, teachers, learners, pilots, architects, engineers, artists, IT specialists, dentists, doctors, customer service reps, nurses and writers among many other careers.

More of what makes you “mothers” great:

1. You overcome great obstacles

We know there are inherent challenges and obstacles that come with being a woman. It is unfair and the mountains are unfortunate but WE ALWAYS OVERCOME. We are stronger with every step that carries us to the next mile. We cannot and will not be stopped. Don’t be discouraged.

2. You are determined

You have the power to create the life you choose. You make the life, the career, the family, the home atmosphere, the work environment that you are proud of…that build up your legacy as a woman of positive impact.

3. You know when you need help

Asking for help is a sign of strength. If you are in a marriage or relationship, making sure your partner is the true definition of a partner is key. A mate who is supportive, respectful and champions you on in your greatness goes a long way when you need help, which you will need so you don’t run yourself ragged. Find someone that you can feel the same way about regarding support, respect and championing.

To the wonderful women of our lives, we love you and need you and recognize how much you mean to us.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Be More Than Happy

It’s May 1st!! Ahh we are 5 months into 2016. How amazing. College kids are graduating and getting ready to embark on the next phases of their adult life. High school kids seem mainly focused on prom for now but truly probably fighting some nerves surrounding their next steps. Some off to college, others off to work, probably all wondering what their future holds.

We find ourselves immersed in spring showers here in Chicago. The warm weather is not consistent yet but it is clear we have arrived in a new season. A fresh month and a chance for new starts.

We also celebrate a world of mothers next week which reminds me it is hard to believe a year ago I shared this post about what I have learned from my own mom.

Later this month we reflect back for Memorial Day. Paying respect and honoring heroes. May is packed to the brim with preparations, celebrations and activity.

Before we fall face first into summertime, we can take advantage of this month to really get ourselves on track and our lives in order. If you’re anything like me, you’re not perfect meaning you set goals, get really great momentum and occasionally life happens and you get sidetracked.

I have been on this path of getting my fitness up and taking care of my body and health. I am taking on a holistic stance to give myself my very best. My physical, mental, spiritual self are all impacted by my actions. Those around me can also be lifted up or dragged down when they come into my space depending on my energy and self-care. I always want to build others up but that starts with myself.

Before I got sidetracked a few weeks ago, I was eating salads I made at home regularly for lunch. I was exercising at least 3 times a week. I started walking more before and after work. I had been seeing great progress then I set it aside. 

Now I’m getting back on track this week. It is not just about being happy. It is about feeling whole.

Happiness has always been a fluid concept to me. Situations and things and people bring happiness but when those things shift, change, leave… sometimes the happiness disappears with it.

My goal is joy. I always felt like joy has roots that can’t be easily shaken. Joy begins internally and radiates outwardly. I like being happy but I love being filled with joy.

Make it a great May!!

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Me as a kid